


Just...Don't

by kiyala



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-02
Updated: 2007-11-02
Packaged: 2017-10-12 02:26:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/119767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyala/pseuds/kiyala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All it takes is one small misunderstanding, and everything goes downhill very quickly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just...Don't

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to my darling [**hidden_gems**](http://hidden-gems.livejournal.com/), who inspired me to write this with her Ichigo fanart of the same title [which can be found here](http://hiddengems.deviantart.com/art/Just-Don-t-65339140). It's truly an amazing piece of art, so go and drool at it, regardless of whether you've seen it before *-* And not only did she inspire this fic, but she encouraged it onwards and was amazingly patient while I had to finish other things/put up with real life and... <3 You're amazing, Charlie. You really are.

  
It was raining. It always rained when he felt this way.

And this time, it was raining outside too. Which only made things worse.

He had tried his best to shut it out. He had tossed and turned in bed, holding two pillows to his head. He had held one to his face and screamed against it until his voice broke. He had even tried banging his head against the wall.

Nothing worked. Because it had nothing to do with shutting things out from the outside.

The guilt was tearing him up from the inside.

He was silent through dinner, ignoring the rest of his family. If Yuzu was upset because of this, he didn't notice. No one stopped him when he left the dinner table half way through the meal and walked upstairs. Opening his closet, he found the jacket he was looking for. Pulling it on, he zipped it all the way before turning to leave.

He frowned, feeling empty. This was a different empty feeling to the one that had been plaguing him all day. He needed company. He craved the company of the one person who didn't want to see him. He glanced at his desk and decided to settle for something else. He picked up his mp3 player, and adjusted the headphones before turning it on. He needed something loud. Something that screamed at him and muddled his thoughts until he could no longer think.

He needed a distraction.

The music blocked out the sound of the rain pelting against the window, but he knew how heavy it was. He didn't take an umbrella.

No one looked up when he descended the stairs and left the house. He stood on the doorstep for a moment before walking out into the rain. The sharp contrast between the warmth of the house and the cold rain made him shiver, but he didn't give himself the option of turning back.

He walked, and didn't stop out of fear of losing himself to the thoughts that he was desperately trying to keep at bay. There was rain falling against his headphones, making a quiet tapping sound that was mostly drowned out by the loud music. The stray thought crossed his mind, that it was as if the outside world was trying to reach out to him, but he shook his head hard, scattering raindrops from his hair the same way he tried to scatter his thoughts.

He was already soaked by the time he had walked down his street. The rain had since gotten harder and he could feel his hair sticking to the sides of his head. He shivered as he walked, water running down his face, soaking through his clothes and dripping off him. The thought of returning somewhere warmer didn't even occur to him as he continued walking, not caring to avoid puddles, or to walk under shelter.

Three hours passed, with him walking with no destination. He knew this because he had heard every single song in his one-and-a-half hour long playlist at least twice. Slowing down, he finally came to a stop in the middle of the path and turned his music off. Listening to everything a third time would be just as effective in keeping his thoughts away as silence would.

Hanging the headphones around his neck made him flinch when the metal came in contact with his skin. He tucked them under his hood instead, belatedly realising that this made little difference. With a sigh, he shoved his hands back into his jacket pockets and turned around to continue walking.

He froze when he came face to face with the one person in the world who didn't want to see him.

They stared at each other for a long moment of silence before the other finally opened his mouth to speak.

*

  
He should have known it would happen from the moment she looked into his eyes. They hid nothing – he was just too blind to see it.

Perhaps Uryuu had known all along and had just never let on. Maybe it was the reason behind the way he sometimes held onto him, as though he didn't want to let go out of fear that someone else would come and take him away.

Ichigo had thought that Uryuu was being ridiculous when he did that. But maybe he was wrong.

He hadn't been paying attention when she'd asked it. He was with Uryuu, and when he was with Uryuu, he never paid attention to anything else. They were just walking side by side down the corridor, on their way to class in the morning. They weren't talking, but they didn't need to. He was aware of every small movement the other boy made, whether it be lifting one foot to put it in front of the other, or lifting a hand to brush a stray strand of hair out of his face.

When they had initially started seeing each other outside of school and their duties as Shinigami and Quincy, they had decided to keep things out of school. They would just act normal around each other, the way they had for the past year at school. At the end of the week, Uryuu had laughed while he told Ichigo of the way they'd both tense when they were around each other. It was the same way they would tense before getting into a fight, Uryuu mused and grinned. They were just tense for a different reason, now, and far more often.

As the time passed and they grew closer, Ichigo found it increasingly difficult to resist the temptation to back the other boy up against a wall and kiss him until neither of them could remember how to breathe. Uryuu, perceptive as he was – and, Ichigo knew, just as eager to forget how to breathe – devised a plan.

There was a room on their floor that wasn't used for the hours before or after lunch. Ichigo, his reiatsu as loud and uncontrolled as ever would go first. Uryuu kept his reiatsu completely masked, and would join him a minute later. They could only spend a maximum of five minutes together, but it was enough to keep them going.

Uryuu didn't know of any words to describe the feeling he had when he walked into the classroom every lunch time. Ichigo always faced away from the door, his gaze fixed somewhere out of the window. But when he heard Uryuu's footsteps, he'd turn around slowly. His eyes would fall on Uryuu's face and the blank expression would linger for less than a second more before giving the bespectacled boy a wicked grin.

The taste of Ichigo's mouth was intoxicating like nothing else Uryuu knew. The moment after their lips met – the moment their tongues sought each other out – the Quincy's senses reeled and his grip on the other boy tightened. Ichigo always grinned into their kiss when he felt Uryuu's short fingernails digging into his back. Uryuu would pull back to return the grin before their lips met again, and did not part until one of them would reluctantly pull away and murmur that they should probably get going.

Ichigo spent the entire day before lunch looking forward to those five minutes, and not paying attention to anything else. Which was why he had forgotten that Orihime had asked him, just that morning, if he would wait behind for her in class during their mid-morning break. He had walked out of class with his friends, talking to them about whatever caught their interest, as he always did. He was more concerned about being able to corner Uryuu when no one was listening and asking him why he had been so visibly tense in class.

Uryuu had said that it was nothing to worry about and after a moment of doubt, Ichigo nodded and said that he would believe him. The redhead gave him a look of disarming affection before turning away and shifting his attention to his friends. After then, Uryuu had relaxed enough for it to stop troubling Ichigo. He was probably just looking forward to their five minutes together, the Shinigami reasoned with himself. Nothing to worry about.

As lunch rolled around, Uryuu started tensing up again. Ichigo grinned to himself; it was _definitely_ the anticipation. The redhead bit the end of his pen, trying to fight off the smirk as he tried to figure out how much he could do in five minutes. He checked the clock at the front of the classroom, his shoulders sagging when he realised that there were still fifteen minutes to go until their lunch break. He settled for occasionally glancing at Uryuu.

When the lunch bell rang, Ichigo grinned to himself. Uryuu looked even more tense than he did in the morning. The Vaizard stood, along with some other members of his class, eager to leave the room. Uryuu remained in his seat, as always. Ichigo walked past his desk on the way out, the back of his hand lightly brushing against the Quincy's arm. He wanted to look back for Uryuu's reaction, but forced himself to keep walking.

The corridors were already filled with students and Ichigo walked through them, turning into the quieter one, where the classroom he was heading towards was. He glanced around, making sure there was no one else in the corridor, before entering the room.

When he did, the grin on his face slowly disappeared. Orihime stood there, clearly waiting for him. She gave him a shy smile, he hands clasped behind her back. "Kurosaki-kun."

"Inoue?" Ichigo frowned, "What are you doing here?"

She shifted her weight from leg to leg, looking a little lower than Ichigo's eye level. "Well… every lunch time, I can feel your reiatsu here for a few minutes. And because you didn't wait for me in the morning, I thought I could talk to you now."

Ichigo's eyes widened as he realised that he'd forgotten her request to talk during their morning break. "Oh. Right – I'm sorry. I forgot. Do you think you could wait a few minutes? I—"

Orihime looked flustered, "It won't take long… please. I just… need to tell you."

Seeing her in such obvious discomfort made Ichigo frown, suddenly less eager to simply push her away. "What's wrong, Inoue? Anything I can do?"

There was absolutely no time to process the fact that Orihime's eyes were filling with tears before she was clinging to him and crying. "I can't take it, Kurosaki-kun! I can't keep living like this, without telling you the truth. I-it hurts too much."

"What truth?" Ichigo asked, his eyes widening with concern. "What happened?"

"I…" she sobbed, her tears soaking the front of Ichigo's shirt. "I-I love you, Kurosaki-kun! I love you so much that sometimes, I can't even breathe."

Ichigo's heart stopped and he stared at her, his hands on her shoulders. _This_ was what she wanted to say? He didn't know how to respond. He didn't know what he could say without mentioning Uryuu. But, his mind reasoned, Orihime was a _nice_ person. She would understand, and she wouldn't spread rumours.

He took a deep breath.

"…Inoue. For the last few months, there's been… this person I've cared about. They're… more important to me than anything else… Inoue, that person is—"

He couldn't continue, as Orihime had tilted her head upwards, and kissed him on the mouth.

He couldn't get his body to move, and stood frozen as his grip on her shoulders tightened, ready to push her away. But before he could, Orihime had already jerked away.

He looked at her in surprise, and his heart sank as he realised that she was looking over his shoulder – at the door.

… _Uryuu_ , his lips formed the name, but his voice wouldn't work as he slowly turned around.

Of course, Uryuu stood there. His face was blank, but the look in his eyes told Ichigo that he had walked in a moment too late to understand what had happened.

There was a short silence, and then;

"I'm sorry for disturbing you. I'll leave."

 _Uryuu_! The word didn't make it past his throat this time either. He wanted to scream it. To chase after the boy, who had swiftly turned on his heel and walked away.

Orihime was staring at the doorway, her cheeks coloured with a dark blush – of embarrassment for being caught. Ichigo cringed as he realised that she had no idea of how severe things actually were.

He tried to think of something to say. Of a way to apologise for running out of the room and down the hallway, screaming the Quincy's name. He came up with nothing, and with one last look at Orihime, he chased after Uryuu.

"Ishida!"

Uryuu was standing at the corner, about to turn out of sight when he froze at the sound of Ichigo's voice. The Vaizard took the opportunity to catch up with him and grabbed his shoulders.

"Uryuu, listen—"

"I don't need to," Uryuu murmured in response. He sounded calm. It scared Ichigo. "I saw what I needed to. I don't hate you for it, Kurosaki. I was always afraid it would happen – I'll deal with it."

"You didn't see everything. Look—"

"There was more?" the hurt began creeping into Uryuu's voice. "What more do I need, Ichigo? I get it. I do. So please…"

Ichigo watched, dumbstruck as Uryuu pushed his hands off his shoulders and walked away.

"Ishida. _Please_!" he called after him, but Uryuu ignored him.

He punched the wall beside him in frustration, and only realised that Orihime was standing behind him when he saw her flinch.

"Did I… cause trouble for you and Ishida-kun?" she asked timidly.

Ichigo controlled his anger, reminding himself that it was self-directed. He sighed slumping against the wall.

"It's my fault."

"I'm… sorry…" she mumbled anyway.

"Look… if you don't mind, I'm going to sit in the classroom for lunch. I really need to be alone right now."

She nodded, and he nodded back before pushing off from the wall and walking away.

He stopped in front of the door, trying to collect his thoughts. He replayed the scene in his mind, repeating Uryuu's words. He shook his head as he realised that he was coming to a conclusion that he did not like, and walked into the classroom.

Closing the door loudly behind him, he hadn't taken more than a couple of steps before he froze. Uryuu was sitting at his desk, looking up at the source of the sound. Ichigo's insides twisted when he saw the pain in Uryuu's expression, and he opened his mouth to speak.

Uryuu stood immediately. Ichigo held his breath, hoping for the other boy to walk towards him. Instead, Uryuu let out a small sigh.

"Please," he whispered, his voice shaking with frustration and what Ichigo was too afraid to identify as pain. "Leave me alone, Kurosaki. You should be with Inoue-san right now, shouldn't you?"

Before Ichigo could reply, Uryuu was gone. The Vaizard slowly made his way to his own desk, sinking into his chair as he struggled to suppress the urge to scream.

This was his fault. He understood that much, if nothing else. And Uryuu had seen this coming. Inoue, and her feeling for him…. The more he thought about it, the more things fell into place, and the more he hated himself.

Uryuu had known… he was more perceptive than most people and Ichigo knew that, but it didn't change the facts. Uryuu had known about Orihime. He had seen this coming – no, he had said that he'd _feared_ it. And Ichigo hadn't noticed a thing. He had thought that Orihime was a little jumpy and easily flustered – he had thought that she was like that around everyone. He could tell that he had been wrong.

He cringed at the memory of Uryuu's pained expression. He didn't hate Ichigo, he had said. But he couldn't bear to speak to him… or to be in the same room as him. Ichigo wondered how the hell he was going to be able to explain things, at this rate. He slammed his fist down on the desk, and the desks around him rattled as well. He needed to explain things to Orihime as well. He had to talk to her alone, _after_ things had been straightened out with Uryuu. He shuddered at the very thought of the assumptions Uryuu would make if he saw them together – the assumptions that Uryuu was already making.

A sense of urgency rushed through him, making him desperate to explain everything to Uryuu. But it had to wait. Because Uryuu needed the time to decide to listen. And Ichigo didn't know how long that would take.

He spent the rest of the lunch break imagining conversations. He tried to rehearse what he would say to Uryuu, once the other boy would actually listen, but he found after several attempts, that it was too difficult to decide what to say, and settled for thinking of what he would say to Orihime, and practicing that in his head instead.

He had gotten to the point where he knew what he would say to her, word for word, when the bell rang. Students walked back into the classroom in groups. Orihime was with the group of girls that she was usually with. Tatsuki looked stressed, Ichigo noted and wondered if she also knew what had happened. His friends asked him why he hadn't joined them on the roof, and he gave them the excuse that he was feeling too tired to go up. Mizuiro helpfully pointed out that Ichigo did, indeed, look like crap.

Ichigo didn't respond, his attention captured by Uryuu, who was walking into the room. He waited for Uryuu to look at him, the way they always made eye contact in class. It didn't happen. Uryuu was resolutely avoiding eye contact as he walked straight from his door to his seat without acknowledging anyone in the classroom.

The Vaizard covered his face with his hands, groaning softly. Sado asked him if he was okay, and Ichigo waved it off, insisting that he was fine. He wished that it would make Uryuu turn around, but the Quincy remained in his own world.

As the teacher walked into the classroom, everyone sat down and took their books out. Ichigo kept his gaze on Uryuu's back. It was clear – to him, at least – that Uryuu was in pain. He could tell by the way the other boy sat, shoulders hunched as though he were wishing he had a shell to crawl into. He could tell by the rise and fall of his back, that Uryuu was taking slow, deep breaths. The way he did when he was in physical pain. Ichigo brought his trembling hands to his face, closing his eyes and sighing.

He didn't notice because he was too busy watching Uryuu, but Orihime wasn't having a very easy afternoon either.

The more she watched Ichigo, the more she noticed that he was watching Uryuu. To begin with, she assumed that it was just discomfort at being caught kissing. But then, as time passed, she became less confident that this was the reason behind it. For one, she reasoned to herself, why was Uryuu looking so upset? It was definitely not in his expression, or the way he was sitting. He was acting completely normal. Then she realised it. It wasn't that she could tell that he was upset because of anything to do with him.

It was in the way Ichigo was looking at him.

It wasn't embarrassment, like the way she occasionally looked at Uryuu. It was guilt, shame and more than just a hint of sadness. And another difference between the way that she looked at Uryuu and the way the he looked at Uryuu was the fact that Ichigo did not look away.

From there, it wasn't difficult for the rest to fall into place. A lot of things made sense, now. The way they would always fight, the way that Ichigo was the only one who could make the otherwise calm boy lose his temper.

As it got closer to the end of the school day, Uryuu still hadn't acknowledged Ichigo, and it was clear that the redhead was distressed by it. If Orihime visualised it in terms of reiatsu, she could see Ichigo's reiatsu reaching towards Uryuu, while the Quincy had used his own to raise a wall around him and keeping Ichigo away.

She thought of what Ichigo had said to her earlier; _For the last few months, there's been… this person I've cared about. They're… more important to me than anything else… Inoue, that person is…_

She knew enough now to know that the name he was going to say wasn't hers. It was _Ishida Uryuu._

Her heart sank with the disappointment, but more important at that moment was the realisation that Uryuu hadn't come and interrupted Ichigo and her when he had walked in on them. _She_ was the one who had interrupted them, and Uryuu didn't realise what had really happened. She realised, as she looked at Ichigo's forlorn expression, that she had to fix things – it was her responsibility after causing so much trouble.

When the bell rang at the end of the day, Uryuu was among the first to rise and leave. Ichigo stood immediately as well, but after watching the other boy leave without so much as a glance in his direction, he didn't follow. Orihime watched with concern at the way Ichigo's shoulders shook with what she could guess was self-loathing. She wished that she could be the one to calm him down, but she knew that she wasn't, and she knew that this was her fault.

Turning and smiling as Tatsuki walked to her table and asked her what she was so lost in thought about, she told her friend that it was nothing to worry about. They left the classroom together, walking to the dojo where Tatsuki had her karate lesson that afternoon. The clouds were dark, Tatsuki noted, perhaps Orihime shouldn't sit outside the dojo and wait for her lesson to end? Orihime gladly accepted this reason to leave and promised that they would spend tomorrow afternoon together before leaving. She waved over her shoulder until Tatsuki could no longer see her. Then, she made a bee-line for Ishida Uryuu's flat.

She wasn't quite sure of what she was going to say to him, but she was determined not to leave until he understood what had really happened, and she had apologised enough. As long as he knew the truth… she knew that the rest was up to him.

Taking several deep breaths in front of Uryuu's door, she finally knocked. It opened in less than a second, and it was clear that Uryuu was disappointed that she wasn't someone else. Orihime decided that this was a _good_ thing. That Uryuu actually wanted to see Ichigo.

"Inoue-san. Do you need something?"

His words were not as polite as usual, but she could hardly blame him. Trying not to let it deter her, she gave him a small smile and forced herself to look directly into his eyes.

"Ishida-kun, I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but this is important. We need to talk. Can I come inside?"

He gave her a curious look, but said nothing as he left the door open for her and walked inside.

*

It had taken Orihime more than an hour to explain things. Uryuu had almost lost his patience and asked her leave several times, but he forced himself to remain polite and let her speak. It was clear from the outset that she needed to.

She had started by apologising. Her apologies were so sincere that she had almost started crying. He was moved, and he wasn't even sure what it was for.

And then she mentioned _his_ name. That was the first time he had to repress the urge to tell her to leave. Instead, he cut her off.

"I feel like some tea. Would you like some as well?"

He wasted ten minutes making tea for them. Orihime began getting impatient, and he felt a bitter satisfaction for it. Setting their cups and the teapot on the table, he motioned for her to sit. He knew this would take some time, even without his delaying.

He sipped his tea as he watched her fidget. Whatever she had to say was definitely taking some time to string together, he mused to himself. She hadn't spoken since he had asked her if she wanted tea, and he had nothing to break the silence with himself, nor the desire to.

Finally, she put her cup down and looked at him again.

"You like Kurosaki-kun. Don't you?"

He very nearly dropped his own cup. Her tone wasn't accusatory. In fact, it was sad. He didn't need to guess why. He simply nodded once in response. She didn't look the least bit surprised. She took another sip of her tea, and then she began to explain.

It took him a while to understand everything that she was saying. His first instinct was to question it – it could have just been a way for Ichigo to escape something he had unwittingly managed to get himself into. But Orihime was being far too sincere, and he knew that Ichigo wouldn't do something like that. As he listened to Orihime more, he began to feel guilty for even doubting Ichigo in the first place.

By the time Orihime was finished, the teapot was empty despite Uryuu making more tea as he listened. He put his empty cup on the table and sighed deeply.

"So. You're saying that this is all one overcomplicated misunderstanding?"

Orihime nodded silently. He watched her carefully.

"But you do have feelings for Ich— for Kurosaki."

She nodded again, and he ran a hand through his hair.

"And still, you're standing back so that I…" he trailed off, at a loss for words.

"He'd be happier with you. I can see that. Besides… there's nothing I can do if he doesn't like girls, is there?" she laughed nervously and cleared her throat. "Wouldn't you do the same if you were in my position?"

 _No_ , he answered to himself, but he forced a smile and stood to carry their cups to the sink. Orihime also rose to her feet and followed him.

"Are you going to talk to him, then?" she asked hopefully, "So you can straighten things out? …Forget it. It's not my business. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologise," he murmured, but said nothing else on the subject. "Thank you for telling me all of this."

She gave his back a sad smile. "I don't want either of you to feel sad."

"And what about you?" Uryuu asked, looking over his shoulder.

Orihime didn't know how to answer. She sighed, looking away. "I'll be fine. As long as Kurosaki-kun is happy. Even without me being the one to make him happy. That's all I want."

Uryuu raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. There was a lapse of thoughtful silence, and Orihime glanced at the clock on the wall before clearing her throat.

"I should go. I should start cooking dinner. I'm making sweet potato cakes stuffed with refried beans and topped with maple syrup. Would you like to try some tomorrow?"

The Quincy shook his head, but managed a smile. "No, thank you."

He walked her to the door, making sure that she had an umbrella with her before letting her out and shutting the door, leaving it unlocked. He collapsed on his sofa with a loud sigh. It had been an emotionally straining day, and even with Orihime's explanation, he wasn't sure if he was completely over it yet. He covered his face with his hands, only to pull them away sharply when he saw the mental image of the kiss he had walked in on.

He shuddered at the thought of Ichigo with anyone else, the possessiveness and sadness that resulted from the thought warred with each other until he was left feeling simply miserable. He could walk to Ichigo's house and explain everything that he knew… but he didn't feel entirely comfortable with that idea. His mind provided him with the excuse that it was going to start raining at any moment. It was weak, but worked effectively when he was already reluctant.

He stayed on the sofa, and checked on Ichigo's reiatsu. He was home, and his reiatsu was terribly loud and inconsistent. He winced at the discomfort of feeling it from this far – he felt sorry for anyone closer. This meant that Ichigo was at home, moping, just like he was. But the thought didn't give Uryuu enough confidence to get to his feet.

Uryuu continued checking Ichigo's reiatsu throughout the afternoon. It got dark early, because of the clouds. It had started raining not more than an hour after Orihime had left his flat, and had since progressed into heavy rain.

He listened to the rain as he cooked dinner. He wasn't feeling hungry, but forced himself to have a proper meal. He ate slowly, chewing several times for each mouthful. It passed the time, and if he focused on the food in front of him, it meant that his thoughts wouldn't stray.

He was half-way through his meal when a sudden change of the reiatsu around him made his heart stop. He concentrated on it, and he didn't even need a second to know it. Ichigo was walking in his direction. He concentrated harder, and realised that Ichigo had been walking around the entire town aimlessly. He was unconsciously holding his breath, waiting for the obtrusive reiatsu to come even closer, waiting for the sound of a knock on his door…

It didn't come. Ichigo was close, standing at the entrance to his block of flats, but not coming inside. He stayed like that for a long time, before the reiatsu finally faded as he walked away.

Uryuu gasped for breath, his heart still hammering. He held his head with both hands for a long time, focusing on inhaling and exhaling. He threw the rest of his dinner away and curled up on the sofa again.

He tried reading a book to take his mind off things. It worked for perhaps three chapters, but the book was not engaging enough. His thoughts began to wander.

 _What am I feeling so anxious for?_

He ignored the thought so that he didn't need to answer it. Throwing the novel onto the coffee table, he rose to his feet and walked to his bedroom. His sewing was carefully folded and kept away in his bag. He picked it up and did something he never did in his right mind – he dumped the contents on his bed.

Paying no attention to which threads unravelled themselves and which became tangled with others, he picked his way through the pile. His gaze moved across patterns, nearly-complete clothes, pillow covers and embroidery, looking for the most difficult and stress-relieving project. He picked up a multi-layered Victorian dress that one of the girls at the handicrafts club had asked him to make for her doll. It was half-complete and required much more detail before he would be satisfied. He looked through the pile of material on his bed for the fabric he needed. It was quickly located and he moved back to the sofa to sew.

He forced himself to work slowly, his hands moving at a normal pace instead of his usual machine speed. He felt much clumsier this way, but he wasn't sure how much that had to do with the anxiety he was trying to push out of his mind.

The dress was finished to his liking and he was working on a pair of fingerless gloves for the sake of having something to do when it happened again. His breath caught in his throat with a quiet choking sound and he knew the reason even before he checked.

Ichigo walked closer to the block of flats, his reiatsu marginally calmer than before, but still uncomfortable. Uryuu felt him stop at the bottom of the stairs that led to his door. Ichigo stood there for longer than before.

If Uryuu could hear anything over the pounding of his own heart, he would have been certain that he was hyperventilating. Which was strange, because he could also feel his throat close up and his lungs were desperately begging for air.

 _Why am I reacting this badly? Please, for the love of God, just climb the fucking stairs._

A few seconds later, Ichigo left. Uryuu's surroundings felt oddly calm… almost dead. He realised that he had dropped his sewing on the floor, but as disappointment and anger directed and both Ichigo and himself washed over him, he didn't pick it up.

He sat there, doing nothing for a while as he thought. Was Ichigo doing this to torment him? Highly unlikely. Ichigo was probably tormenting himself. Uryuu could imagine the look of troubled hesitance as the Vaizard stood, looking at the stairs and coming up with every possible excuse t not climb them.

Uryuu knew this, because he would do the same. Less, he corrected himself. He wasn't even brave enough to step out of the house. Not yet. It would take a while longer of curling up on the sofa, feeling pathetic and fighting off an anxiety attack until he became sick of himself and decided to do something. He knew that. It just wasn't time yet.

He gave up trying to distract himself, choosing to sit in the silence of his flat and _think_. He tried to imagine what he could say to Ichigo… _how_ he would say it to Ichigo. He could go to the Kurosaki residence and explain that he knew what had happened, but he had a very strong feeling that he wouldn't find Ichigo there anyway. He managed to pass an entire hour, just thinking of how to talk to Ichigo and what to say – he couldn't bear the idea of sitting there and waiting until the next day to talk to him at school. He checked the time, surprised to find that it was already half past nine. After another short moment of hesitation, he got to his feet.

He tried to look out of the window, but he could barely make anything out. It was far too dark, and the sky was further darkened by rain clouds. He could hear the rain tapping against the window even though he couldn't see it.

Pulling a thick, waterproof jacket on, he slipped his keys into his pocket and left the building. He was drenched almost immediately after stepping out from the shelter. He looked around, still not entirely sure of how he was going to find Ichigo. He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate. He opened them quickly, noticing that he could still feel Ichigo' reiatsu near the door to the block of flats. He reached out, watching the red reiraku materialise in front of him. He held onto it, looking around to see it winding all over the street, coiling on the ground in front of the door several times. Uryuu sighed, his fingers caressing the soft thread as he followed it. He kept his head tilted downwards to avoid raindrops splashing onto his glasses, but they managed it anyway. Wiping continually at his lenses with the corner of his sleeve, he squinted around to gain his bearings. He then decided that he didn't have the time, and continued half-walking, half-running through the rain as he followed the reiraku.

Ichigo had been wandering aimlessly all over town for a very long time, Uryuu realised as he crossed the same park several times, began recognising roads that he had never used before and followed the reiraku close to his own flat several times, only to have it suddenly change direction. He felt a mix of frustration and pity for Ichigo, unsure of which was stronger.

He didn't know how long he had been following the reiraku for. He didn't have a watch with him, and even if he did, his glasses were too wet to see anything in enough detail anyway. Simply forcing himself to continue moving forward, Uryuu decided that time didn't matter. Reaching the other end of the thread in his hands did.

Not more than five seconds after the thought, he came to a sudden halt. He sensed Ichigo nearby. Wiping at his glasses again, he looked around and his gaze finally settled on Ichigo's figure, some distance from him. He took a careful step forward. Ichigo didn't seem to hear him. He took another. The redhead seemed lost in thought. Following whatever train of thought he was focused on, he turned quickly. He froze when he saw Uryuu.

Uryuu didn't know what to do. His mind blanked on all the imaginary conversations he'd planned, and his mouth felt unnaturally dry. They stared at each other in silence for a long moment, until he finally opened his mouth.

*

  
"There you are."

Ichigo didn't say anything as Uryuu walked closer, but his brown eyes searched across the other's face, soaking everything in. The Quincy looked tired, stressed, even a little frustrated. But not angry.

"I was looking for you for… a long time. Did you have to pick a rainy day to wander all over town? You're soaked."

Ichigo opened his mouth, and then closed it again. This wasn't what he had been expecting. Finally, he managed a word. "…Sorry."

Uryuu watched him with a look that Ichigo couldn't quite comprehend. "…You idiot. Come here."

Ichigo didn't move. "If you're going to beat me up, I'd rather—"

"Beat you up?" Uryuu asked, surprised. "You really think—? …Look. I think you've got it all wrong. I know what happened. I talked to Inoue-san. I'm not going to hit you. I'll leave you alone, if that's what you want. I just needed to talk…"

"Please. Don't." Ichigo countered Uryuu's step forward with two steps backward. His hand was raised, maintaining the distance between them. "Just… don't, Uryuu. Why are you being so understanding? I… I hurt you, damn it! Why the hell are you here, running around in the rain, looking for _me_?"

Uryuu stared at him in amazement for a moment as he tried to understand what Ichigo was thinking. With a few quick steps forward, he pushed Ichigo's hand aside and firmly held onto the Vaizard's chin, forcing brown eyes to look at blue.

"What the fuck has gotten into you, Kurosaki?" Uryuu growled. Ichigo flinched, but the grip on his chin tightened, and he struggled to hold the other boy's gaze. "Aren't you listening to a single word I say? Stop moping and _pay attention_. I told you. I spoke to Inoue-san. She told me it was a misunderstanding – I'm the one at fault here, idiot. I'm the one who assumed the worst. I jumped to the wrong conclusion, and I didn't listen to you, and because of that, you've been wandering around in the rain for hours getting yourself drenched."

"You… you don't hate me?" Ichigo stared at him in disbelief. His hesitantly placed his hands on Uryuu's shoulders, frowning with confusion. "Why don't you hate me? Even if the kiss thing was just a misunderstanding… you should still—"

"I can't think of a good reason to hate you," Uryuu cut him off, "Unless you'd like to give me one. The only thing I'm annoyed at you for is how you were standing at the entrance to my block of flats, _twice_ and didn't even think of ringing the doorbell or knocking. It would have been a lot easier if you had. I wouldn't have been hyperventilating, and neither of us would be wet enough to look like we just showered with all our clothes on."

"Are you cold?" Ichigo asked, looking at Uryuu with concern, "You shouldn't have bothered running around in the rain. Here – take my jacket."

He pulled his jacket off before Uryuu could protest, and his headphones fell on the ground. Uryuu cringed at the scraping sound they made against the concrete.

"I needed a new pair anyway," Ichigo muttered dismissively, "I think the water killed them."

Uryuu held up his hand, refusing Ichigo's jacket. He took his own off. "Don't bother. Wet clothes aren't going to help. They're just annoying to move around in."

Ichigo tied the dripping jacket around his waist and then looked at Uryuu carefully. "You… knew that Inoue liked me, didn't you?"

Sighing, the Quincy nodded. Ichigo looked away, frowning.

"I should have realised."

"You're just incredibly dense," Uryuu murmured, turning Ichigo's face towards his and placing a small kiss on the redhead's lips. "You were like that for me too, remember?"

Ichigo closed the gap between their lips for a second kiss and pulled Uryuu close, his lips against the other boy's ear. "Do you forgive me for being incredibly dense, then?"

Uryuu smirked playfully. "Maybe. If you can convince me that I _should_."

Ichigo recognised the smirk, and returned it. "The way you're thinking, Uryuu? That's far too easy. You should keep me around because I'm the only one around here who knows how to kiss you until you stop making sense."

To prove his point, Ichigo kissed him hard, tongue sliding against Uryuu's, teeth nibbling on his lips and then sucking, pulling away only when Uryuu moaned. Ichigo grinned at the dazed look on Uryuu's face and pushed his wet bangs out of his eyes.

"Any other reasons?"

"I can think of a few," Ichigo murmured, his hands slipping under Uryuu's shirt and rubbing his back. "Like the way you twitch when you feel my hands against your skin. And that glazed look in your eyes. And the fact that you're letting me grope you in public, in the rain, no matter how late it is. You obviously like me too much to get rid of me."

"You're not wrong," Uryuu smiled, tilting his face up and kissing Ichigo again.

"Mmm," the Vaizard held the other boy close, "And you're using double-negatives. Means your brain's broken. I think we should go back to your place and fix that. And by that, I probably mean break it even more."

"Always full of charm and tact," Uryuu snorted. "He gets caught kissing a mutual friend, mopes for hours, and then invites himself over for sex. I love you."

Ichigo tensed, clearly thrown off by the comment. He relaxed when it was clear that Uryuu was referring to their earlier trouble in jest, but he was still more careful than usual when he stroked Uryuu's hair. "Love you too."

Taking the redhead's hand, Uryuu smirked. He pressed his lips to Ichigo's wrist before he began to walk home with the Vaizard in tow.

"Come on, then. I'll let you make up for being so dense."

Chuckling, Ichigo followed. "If only I could make up for everything with sex."

  


x


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